It’s pre-dawn and the surfer is awakened out of yet another surf infused dreamlike slumber by the erratic rat-a-tat-tat of a tree branch outside their window pane. Down the street the unmistakable melodic tones of the neighbor’s wind chimes sing their way through the musical scales of space, time, and air into the auditory senses of the surfer’s subconscious state like an early morning lullaby calling the surfer to action. As grogginess gives way to consciousness, the surfer takes note that this time something is different, something unique, something surfy. As if drawing from some ingrained 6th sense left over in our d.n.a. from cave man times, the surfer feels the change in the air, the hair rising off their skin, the sight unseen visualization that maybe, just maybe, a healthy swell will be there to meet this mystical anomaly of tight isobars meets impending surf stoke. As the surfer pulls up to check the surf all suspicions are confirmed. Waves can be seen reeling in from all directions like a surf porno convention. The permagrin on the surfer’s face beams radiant; equal if not greater than the illuminating light of the rising sun on the incoming swell lines. Not a drop of water is out of place on the open ocean canvas today. Waves continue to march in unleashing their energy in feathering peacock displays of spume and spray dancing in the early morning light. The invisible visitor from a land interior is hard at work grooming the open wave faces like a fine toothed comb. Not too much to think about now. Just need to get out there and get it while the getting is good! After all, these types of conditions don’t happen everyday or last that long when they do (unless of course you happen to be in Nicaragua – score!). For now we will embrace them wholeheartedly. We value the fact that your wave sculpting ways have a way of transforming what would have been mediocre conditions at best into epic, memorable sessions that are forever ingrained in our mental surf slideshow archives.
Thank you “Offshore Winds”! We salute you!
Ode to Offshore Winds: Offshore Winds – You Rule!!! You can crash at our local surf break anytime, we won’t mind at all!! Just come on over. Our choppy surf needs your personal touch and attention. As an added bonus, we will give you cool nicknames such as “Santa Ana”, “Santana”, or “Devil Wind”. You have a lot of fans here. Don’t let us down! In the meantime, here in So. Cal we’ll count on seeing you in full blown effect during the Fall, Winter, and random Dawn Patrols for our pre-requisite visiting rights. Don’t be shy. We’re counting on you! In fact, we NEED you! Feel free to show “Onshore Winds” who’s the boss! He blows (but in the wrong way, doh!!). We’ll be waiting for you; surfboards waxed, looking for wide open gaping barrels to score, courtesy of you Mr. Blowhard Offshore Wind.
Until Then, Yours Truly,
Surfer Dude
P.S. – Try not to start any more fires when you come around next time. We don’t want you getting a bad rap up in here! At times, your favorable wind patterns (while great for surfing) can cause things to heat up and not in that oozing of sexuality Pam Anderson Baywatch moment from back in the day sort of way. Keep your mind out of the gutter and away from your pyromaniac ways of fire & brimstone. Let’s keep things focused on finessing our fine surf. After all, your wicked devil wind induced fires can cause a lot of property damage, cost a lot of money to put out (we’re out of $ in Cali), and contribute to surfers’ black lungs when scoring epic conditions like these supersedes common sense during raging wildfires. At any rate, we’ll see you soon…………………!
